Tuesday, March 27, 2007

My Morning Drive

I would LOVE to have a boring drive to work, but Life has other plans. I'd recently been accosted by an insane driver who wanted to meet me in the HEB parking lot and "kick my f---ing a$$." Did I mention I've never met this woman or have a clue why I needed kicking of any kind?

Well, this morning was no exception in the Keep Austin Weird, and We Mean REALLY Weird trend.

I'm making my way out of our neighborhood this morning at 6:30 in the am, and I see two pale shapes up ahead by the road. I get a little closer and I see they're people... I get a little closer and see they're naked! Stark, birthday suit naked! And a third man was there fully clothed. I drove past and they didn't smile, wave, try to cover up, just stood there on the side of the road. Really weird, huh?!

Maybe it's the non-conformist artsy-fartsy side of me that has spent the day trying to come up with legitimate reasons for this encounter. I've come up with:
  1. They were in some sort of "Lost a Bet" or "Frat Initiation" ritual that involves phrases like "Thank you, sir, may I have another?" This is a weak explanation given the somberness and lack of mischiviousness I got, though it was really early.
  2. The Mothership orbiting around the earth dropped off these two visitors. I figure the clothed one is responsible for "Taking them to our Leader."
  3. The two naked men were werewolves that just changed back. Yes, the big downer for lycanthropes we all know is that when you transmutate into your animal form, your clothes are ruined. I figure the two were out marking territory when the third happened up on them and they shifted back.
  4. The three were a coven of Pagan/Wiccan witches celebrating the coming of spring with a ceremony requiring that 2 be "sky clad."
  5. Escaped Loonies. This is probably the top runner for likelihood.


Anonymous said...

Maybe they were some sort of nudists, who run early in the morning so they don't run into other people, and they ran into a friend and talking to them made them stay out longer!


Anonymous said...

OR -

Maybe they're neighbors and each has been suspicious of the other stealing their newspaper so when it hit their door they both jumped out of the shower to find the clothed guy across the street was REALLY the culprit...

Tune in next week...

Anonymous said...

totally frickin' awesome.