cleaning house

Imagine you're watching TV and you go to get a soda and your fridge is suddenly missing. Then you come back and the couch is missing. Then you click your remote at the TV and realize the TV is missing, too!

"What in holy hell?!?"

Then a horrible screeching sound comes from overhead and a giant razor blade shimmies down the side of your wall and scrapes all the wallpaper off. You run to the other side of the room then have to dodge again as it comes down the other wall.

"Knock it off! Are you nuts?!?"

But then something even more unnerving happens as the carpet you're standing on is pulled out from under you. You run to the other end of the house until your cornered. Not knowing what else to do you cling to the stripped wall and watch the last bit of carpet dissappear beneath you.

*Huff, huff, huff* "What could possible happen next?!" You look up, "Oh, you have got to be joking!!"

New carpet starts raining down from above. You run around trying to dodge it and run smack into a shiny new fridge. Rubbing your head you trip over the new couch that is back where the old one was. The TV is now a flatscreen, and everything has that new home smell.

You look around, still unsure if the upheaval is over. There's a knock at the door and you nearly jump out of your skin.

You cautiously open the door... and it's pizza delivery.

As you eat your pizza and watch your new TV, you tell yourself there's got to be a better way to have our house cleaned.

the end.



dedicated to my poor traumatized geckos, snakes, and lizards residing in new squeaky clean terrariums: "Hang in there fellas!"