Sigh

Some days are like this...

I'm coughing and sputtering in the ole artistic energy engine. The brain is working, but I'm feeling hollow and empty inside. I can still work and get things done, but there's something missing.

I think part of it is stress. I'm aware that there are things out of my control (and everyone else's apparently) and that I shouldn't worry, but my body doesn't seem to heed my brain lately. Might be the Cinimapretzel incindent last month...

I have a booksigning this Saturday and instead of being excited, I'm freaking about the distributor dropping the ball and causing me to spend hours on the phone wondering where the books are and why they're not where they should be. And even though there's a backup plan and no way for me to be without books for the signing... my stomache still churns in knots.

Maybe it's a "first author" type syndrome. That'd be nice so next time I sail through it all without a care.

But it's like the theater... It's incompetance, and man, stupidity is really starting to piss me off. At least I'm not Miriam the publisher. She's gotta be having kittens and wanting scalps as war trophies. It's actually really comforting that I know she's somewhere plotting an attack on these dimwits that are screwing with me and my book. I only hope that I have more books come out with them before she makes good on a threat and has to leave the country until the heat dies down...

The non art related part of it is I don't have much of an emotional cushion. It's good to write about it, because when the art thing is askew it does effect the rest of my life. Mike took me to get a cherry limeade at Sonic and we went through the drivethru. There was a truck in front of us and it had a siberian husky in the back. Now, they're not real common in Texas, and while this one had reddish coloring, the head and face was identical to Two Sox.
At first I was all, "Ahhh, look... A husky... She's got brown eyes and some red in her fur..." and at first it made me happy, and then a second later like some irrational idiot female I was crying. Mike at first thought it was because I wanted a new dog, but that's not it really. I do still miss Twosers, but it was just that my nerves are sort of shot.

I've got heartburn and I'm tired more than I think I should be even with Christmas upon us. My face broke out, so while I feel like I'm 50+, I can pass for a 7th grader if all they see is my complexion. The tooth saga continues in a couple of weeks, too.

I know I'll get my second wind and turn my frown upsidedown. Just got to get through the valley... sigh...