Here's the poem since it's too small to read for the Squirrel piece:
Now, my memory may be kind of hazy;
But, I do recall a squirrel that went crazy.
Seems that gathering nuts of every single kind
Had driven the poor critter out of his mind.
One flock of geese that was flying South,
Claim they saw him foaming at the mouth.
And according to a certain cat from Yonkers,
He witnessed the squirrel going completely bonkers.
Some Park Officials tested that squirrel for rabies,
But it only proved he was just one of those crazies.
To help the little squirrel deal with this fate,
They gave him a jacket that doctors call “straight.”
In case someone might wonder, I myself am a klutz,
But that’s not as remarkable as a squirrel that’s gone nuts.