Possums Change Policy

Associate Press:

Formerly known as meek and timid animals, possums have adopted a new defense strategy.

"Well," one possum expounded, "The old policy of playing dead just wasn't cutting it. Sometimes we just got eaten, and it was really ineffective against cars and trucks."

Their new strategy is a more traditional intimidation maneuver meant to scare a potential enemy and discourage an attack.

"At first," says a shaky husky, "I thought it was a cat in my back yard, so I went to investigate, and it scurried real fast under the deck stairs. It didn't smell like a cat, so I called for backup."

First on the scene was lady of the house.

"I knew something was up because our dog just doesn't bark hardly at all. It was close to midnight, and I thought maybe she'd seen a possum in a tree so I went outside and saw her sticking her nose under the stairs. And that's when I heard it."

The sound was later described as a raccoon caught in a blender.

"No domesticated animal has ever made that sound," the dog owner claims.

So what will happen to the old saying "Playing Possum?" Could it in fact be used for turrets syndrome? Time will tell.